The Folly of My Inbox

Each and every day, I receive countless emails containing get rich-quick schemes, bogus trading systems, at-home business ideas, the latest and greatest investment opportunity, the next gold stock set to soar, etc etc.  The list is endless, providing a good source of humor in an otherwise gloomy environment.

Sometimes this stuff sends my blood pressure higher too – depending on my mood.  I presume it must be working, since I am only one small email address out of millions who must be receiving the messages.  Hard to believe – but then again, if some guy named Stanford can sell people on 10% yielding CD’s in Antigua, ANYTHING is possible.  Why do I sometimes think otherwise?!

Ok, so here’s one that really got me going yesterday:

Have you had it with the stock market?  Maybe it is time to look at alternatives. Would you believe you could achieve annual gains of 65% by trading bonds?  One man is leading his followers to gains like this and you can join him. How safe are these bonds?  Historically, these particular bonds have paid out 99.77% of the time since 1920, even when the depression years are included.

Really?  It doesn’t say “average” annual returns, it says annual gains of 65%!  That’s neat – a 65% slam dunk.  Sign me up!  This man is very generous to share his secrets with others.  So, perhaps we could share these ideas with you, our reader?  But why be so generous, darnit!  It’s a bear market, every man for himself!!  I am going to cease writing this blog, quit my day job, and run this strategy for my greedy self and live the high life for the rest of my days.  Good bye!!

LOL!  Ok, I was just kidding, but isn’t that ridiculous, preying on those who are afraid of the stock market and trying to convince them you can make 65% in bonds following the magical system?!

Then there are the ones who make themselves appear to be a newsletter service, but are well-disguised investor relation/PR companies.  Mind you, their compensation is typically cash and stock. (I love reading the small print – the best part of these scams is to see how much the promoter is getting, and you’d be floored by their compensation!  I’ve been tracking (for entertainment purposes only) a tiny outfit called Lake Victoria Mining Company – symbol LVCA.OB.  The email alert went out the morning of Feb 9th, when the stock had closed the previous day at .38.  Huge volume came in almost at once and the stock traded up to .52 that day.  Heck, even 40 minutes into that day, the Investment Relations firm (hypester!) was bullying his way into my inbox with their second alert of the morning…here’s what it said:

Our new huge gold pick LVCA is looking great this morning! LVCA is currently at $0.44 and is just starting to build some momentum. The word is just starting to spread and our alert was only sent out 40 minutes ago! Imagine what will happen to it once the whole investment community takes notice about this undiscovered/undervalued gold company!

Just imagine, yes, suspend your rationality just a moment and imagine owning hundreds of thousands of shares, set to soar to new heights as Dr. Roger A Newell (Prez & CEO) commences drilling at the Geita property and the assay results come in handsomely!!!!  Wait, from the horses mouth, errr, email:

LVCA`s property could be unbelievably profitable!  Even though LVCA is up this morning it`s nothing compared to where I think it will be when the assay results come out! Don`t sit on the sidelines any longer and start researching LVCA immediately before it really starts to take off! LVCA has a tight float so it could run up very quickly for big gains so don`t waste any more time!

I could go on and on, but I will spare you the pain.  The comedic emails won’t ever stop, I can assure you.  Even in a time period where Bernard Madoff’s name is brought up time and time again, folks are easily swayed by the power of the internet, the power of the spoken word, and the power of scintillating investment results that could make you rich beyond your wildest dreams!  Please be careful out there, ok!! Have a nice day.