Madness Takes Over

The SEC has decreed that anyone who attempts to sell short a financial services stock will be burned at the stake. The decision was made following a late-night séance in Washington D.C., at which officials including Ben Bernanke, Hank Paulson, Christopher Dodd and Barney Frank sought the advice of Karl Marx and John Maynard Keynes.

In a related story, President Bush today issued an executive order forbidding certain stock indexes, including the Dow Jones Industrial Average and the S&P 500, from moving in any direction that is not up. Indexes that fail to comply will be sent to the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay until the current crisis is over.

AllStarInvestor.com is monitoring events closely and will have further updates as soon as the next carrier pigeon arrives.

photo credit: bmcirillo